Longtime No Read

Why hello there. Obviously it has been awhile since my last post; In an effort to start this thing back up, I have decided that my stalkers (those of you who read this) need more.

End.

Stupid Human Tricks

Hello there,

Today was a pretty successful day. Five hours of sleep ... not so fun, ten hour work day ... another power walked 15K marathon (retail), hour and a half workout ... painful leg day, and the best part ... completion of my first challenge. That is right, I have completed a challenge already. On the previous post I talked about the Bag Bite Challenge. Though sounding dumb I attempted it due to a strong desire to win at everything. I needed an immediate challenger so I could crush their quintessence of living. The easiest and natural adversary to take out, of course, could be no other than Lindsey (love you, Peter Griffin laugh). The following pictures might be shocking; please brace yourselves for what you are about to see. Long white legs, crazy flexibility, 25 year old with male pattern baldness and picture frames with a picture of a family who I imagine is not real. Without further delay, the Bag Bite Challenge Photos.

Step one was finding a paper bag. After working out I insisted that Lindz and I go to Publics even though we did not need groceries. Obviously the only reason I wanted to go was to get paper bags. So we arrive to the checkout; the bagger, an elderly man, asks me, "is plastic ok"? I responded with the obvious, "paper please". That is when I received the, you are killing the environment stare. I shortly and quickly responded with, the tree is already dead, the plastic bag will get stuck in a land fill and the paper will be recycled glare.

Above is the moment where I thought I had a chance to defeat her. I found my technique, the groins were not as sore as I imagined they would be after the gym, and I was feeling good. As we continue with cutting off an inch at a time, we start to edge closer and closer to the ground.

VICTORY!!!!!

What is not captured in this final round photo is the kiss to the ground. That is right, 13 years of long snapping have finally paid off with yet another stupid human trick. I can kiss the ground while balancing on two feet. The problem ... I did not beat my rival. She too completed the task of kissing the ground. This unfortunately is a draw, but still a VICTORY over the challenge. The only way to see who the real winner would be is to create a set up the goes sub-floor with the bag. Knowing that I am not Sean Claude Van Damme and my competitor is a former gymnast I am happy with the draw. I would still kick her @ss anyways (love you).

I recommend trying this challenge with friends; it is rather entertaining watching the other person figure out the best way to get as low as possible. Additionally, as my ECON 211 professor used to state, "competition drives everything". So, compete and let me know how well you did. I will put an updated list on the side for final measurements when I receive them.

P.S. I updated my activity log for The President's Challenge and have now completed 12% of my journey in just two days. At this rate Bronze will be reached in less than three weeks out of a six week challenge.

It is getting late and I have another five hours of sleep ahead of me before I wake up for work.

Goodnight Peeps

Keep the Challenges Coming ...

Challenge Inquisition

Well, I woke up this morning with nothing in mind but finding a suitable challenge. This task has become harder than I imagined. My day started with google searches of challenge, self challenge, physical challenge and numerous other synonyms for any kind of result. A majority of what was found was self-help websites ... not exactly what I had in mind.

So, my findings for the day including nothing but physical challenges. These challenges range from your basic physical fitness tests to strange group party games. One challenge was called Bag Bite. Things you need to play Bag Bite are: a paper bag from the grocery store and a pair of scissors. Keep the dirty thoughts to yourself... (if you were not thinking about it before you are now). Anyways, onto the challenge. Place the bag standing up on the floor; the only way you can pick the bag up is with your mouth (hence - bag bite). The actual challenge is to cut off 2 inches of the bag every time you pick it up. The kicker is that the only part of your body allowed to touch the ground is your feet. If anything else touches it does not count. I have yet to try this one because I do not have scissors. Just kidding we have scissors, just no paper bags. When I do this challenge I will be sure to post about the height of the final bag. If anyone actually reads this blog besides the wonderful Kate Sweeten ( http://wesleyandkate.blogspot.com ) try it out and let me know your result.

Still in an effort to find the right challenge I ran across an oldie but a goodie. I am not sure how schools are in the south but I remember middle school Physical Education at East Tipp. Once a year we had to compete in The President's Challenge. Being a little tweeb back in the day I never did very well at the test. I signed up on their website to join the advanced adult president challenge. They judge different activities for length and intensity of the activity. Points are assigned by some equation. Depending on your activity level of a six week period you can earn a bronze, silver, or gold medal. If you think I am not going for the gold your are sorely mistaken. After one regular work day with workout following I have already made it 5% of the way to the Bronze Medal. This will be easy. Que Hulk Hogan's entrance music, I am a Real American!

Finally Kate, I will try your Cleanse reluctantly. I am not sure how far I can go but it is worth a shot.

Keep the Challenges coming...

Here Goes Nothing

On the verge of having so much to say, and not knowing where to start; here goes nothing.

My lovely wife blogs.

I have been asked to do a guest post on her blog due to strong demand from her readers (not really). Anyways, there is a reason that I have entered the blog-o-sphere. That reason being I wanted to do a challenge.

It all started one night while Lindz and I were watching Survivor Heroes v. Villains. She was off in http://colinandlindsey.blogspot.com/ world writing a new post while I was feeling an urge to do something out of the ordinary. Nothing crazy, nothing dumb, just a little out there. That's when it hit me ... I wanted to do a 3o day challenge and blog about my misadventures on the web. Not really knowing what to do at first I was in search of a challenge. This is when, a little out there, shows up. My original idea was to do a Survivor Food Challenge. The basis of the Challenge was to eat only what I saw the Survivors eat on the show for that full week until the next episode aired. This would mean eating nothing but rice, fish, wild chicken, and coconuts. I was really getting motivated; I mean flying high and ready to start as soon as possible. Until this glorious idea was slain not just by Lindz, but also my vehement desire and love of food. Logically it did not make sense. I mean, I work out three days a week for an hour or longer, while also walking a 15 mile marathon a day at work on avg. (retail). Those of you who know me, and my appetite, know this low calorie diet might kill me. I would not last past the first week. HA who am I kidding the first day.

Now that the back story-line has been laid behind this blogging experience. I have created my own page in need of help. I will continue my search for a challenge but I need your help (like anyone will read this anyways). Please leave posts of ideas no matter how random they maybe. I will attempt as much as my mind, body and allowance will let me. All the while recapitulating my successes and miserable failures back to this simplistic blog page. Hopefully I can capture some action shots or videos of these so called challenges and post them for your entertainment.

Let the Challenges commence...